http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/8652 Bring back the eXtra in Windows en-US Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:46:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.winextra.com/forums/search.php http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/8652#post-43060 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:21:50 +0000 Ron 43060@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ <p>1. Two blondes walk into a building...........you'd think at least<br /> one of them would have seen it.</p> <p>2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana,<br /> press the hash key...'</p> <p>3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.<br /> The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'</p> <p>4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.</p> <p>5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he<br /> couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'</p> <p>6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.</p> <p>7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,<br /> Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you<br /> can't, I've cut your arms off'.</p> <p>8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.</p> <p>9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the<br /> craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.</p> <p>10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. </p> <p>11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.<br /> Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'</p> <p>12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'. That sounds like Tom Jones' syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'</p> <p>13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' Well, said the vet, let's have a look at him'<br /> So picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.<br /> Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What, Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.</p> <p>14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up<br /> my bottom.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start!'</p> <p>15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! </p> <p>16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.</p> <p>17.. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you<br /> give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your<br /> oyster, go for it..' </p> <p>18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.</p> <p>19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'</p> <p>20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. </p>