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WinExtra Community Forums » Forum: Joke Corner - Recent Posts http://www.winextra.com/forums/forum/4 Bring back the eXtra in Windows en-US Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:09:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.winextra.com/forums/search.php dontor on "Rumors" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10787#post-54037 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:45:06 +0000 dontor 54037@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ I would like to know also. Call me old fashioned, but I don't "get it" about these "open" relationships. Either you are or are not committed to each other. Nate on "Rumors" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10787#post-54036 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:54:51 +0000 Nate 54036@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ Then again Socrates wife was considerably younger than he so perhaps he wouldn't want to know! Infinidean on "Rumors" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10787#post-54034 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:12:47 +0000 Infinidean 54034@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ I'm fairly certain that learning who my wife was sleeping around with would prove useful. dontor on "Rumors" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10787#post-54023 Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:13:50 +0000 dontor 54023@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip. in ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what i just heard about Diogenes?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me i'd like you to pass a little test. it's called the Triple Filter Test." "Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance. "That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" "No," the man said, "Actually i just heard about it." "All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?" "No, on the contrary..." "So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?" "No, not really." "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?" The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. it also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was sleeping with his wife. Nate on "All Numbers Are Equal" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10783#post-54015 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:40:31 +0000 Nate 54015@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ First time I've seen this one but I think that the error is that that there are two solutions to x^2 = c^2: x = +c or -c and at the end only one solution was was shown in the "proof". I like this and may present it to my boss... Gotta keep 'em humble! <img src="http://www.winextra.com/forums/my-plugins/smiley-choice/Default Smiley/icon_smile.gif" title=":-)" class="bb_smilies" /> Ron on "Management Lesson" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10785#post-54013 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:27:25 +0000 Ron 54013@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?". The crow answered: Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. And the Management Lesson here is: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Ron on "An Open Letter to Alcohol" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10784#post-54012 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:21:40 +0000 Ron 54012@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that communication is important. I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine and topped off with a Kit Kat AFTER a few cheese curls and chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater but I think you went too far this time. 3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock. 4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop! This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order. But, the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out (facedown on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn or wherever). The hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3 p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions. And hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you, Your Biggest Fan dontor on "All Numbers Are Equal" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10783#post-54011 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:15:33 +0000 dontor 54011@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ Interesting proof. Now if only I could get 1,000.00 for 1 cent. Not being greedy, but I've got hundreds of pennies. Ron on "All Numbers Are Equal" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10783#post-54010 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:31:12 +0000 Ron 54010@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ Theorem: All numbers are equal. Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then a + b = t (a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b) a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4 (a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2 a - t/2 = b - t/2 a = b So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless. Pierre on "Answers of a brilliant student who obtained 0%" http://www.winextra.com/forums/topic/10771/page/3#post-54002 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 08:22:39 +0000 Pierre 54002@http://www.winextra.com/forums/ And the wine, and the food <img src="http://www.winextra.com/forums/my-plugins/smiley-choice/Default Smiley/icon_biggrin.gif" title=":D" class="bb_smilies" /> Yes, France is a sweet place to live in <img src="http://www.winextra.com/forums/my-plugins/smiley-choice/Default Smiley/icon_smile.gif" title=":)" class="bb_smilies" />